MAKING SUCCESS OF YOUR MARRIAGE

MAKING SUCCESS OF YOUR MARRIAGE
********************************
The most important decision you will make in life is
whether you have received Jesus Christ as your Lord
and Saviour. But the second most important decision
you will make in life is who (or if) you will marry.
This decision on who to marry has a life long impact
on every thing you do and every thing you will become
in life.
God has designed marriage to be a strength and
blessing to you, that marriage when properly
established is a plus. A godly marriage will make you
a much better person and more effective minister and
worker in your career or profession.
God places an extremely high priority on marriage and
godly order in the Christian home.
Marriage, according to the Bible is an institution
created and ordained by God.
Instructions for godly marriage must come from God
through His word. Your decision as to how to start and
run a home cannot be based on your own thoughts,
opinions, selfish impulses cultural norms and customs
contrary to the word of God.
True godly marriage cannot be established by the
wisdom of this world and the tradition or culture we
live in .
God established an ideal, perfect marriage but sin
brought a distorting and destructive effect.
What is God’s will and heart concerning marriage?
An understanding of what God has in His word will help
your marriage. Consult him before you contract the
marriage. Run the home with due consultation of the
manual. You could have started marriage without God
but if you consult Him today He can help you fix the
foundation, the wall and the roof of your marriage.
Our God is Mr. Fix it Right.
God created man ‘male and female and in His own image
and likeness - That is God impact man with capacity to
think, learn, love and be loved, make choice, and know
what is good and right and also give spiritual, mental
and moral nature to man.
Man and woman have equal value in God’s sight and in
God’s plan for humanity and the world. Man is not
inferior to woman neither is woman inferior to man as
seen Gen 1: 27-28. Man was bless to be fruitful,
multiple and have dominion.
Man and woman are to be partners enjoying a close
loving relationship with each other and with there
creator. God intended man and woman to have a total
partnership in every aspect of life. Gen 2:20b “But
for Adam no suitable helper was found”. So your wife
is not accidental, after thought in God’s mind. She is
specially designed for you to compliment and complete
you. To every man, there is an ideal woman God has
ordained for you “a help mate”
God is aware of your need, it may seems delay but will
meet it to fulfill His plan and purpose. Eve was
Adam’s perfect partner “a helper matching him” to
share everything together - spiritually, mentally,
emotionally and physically.
The very need for help mate means that man’s strength
is not sufficient by itself to fulfill God’s purpose.
Marriage is a life long journey therefore adequate
preparation is needed.
Find out God’s will for your life in marriage.
Marriage is a gift from God.
But the man who has settle the matter in his own mind,
who is under no compulsion but has control over his
own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry
the virgin this man also does the right thing. So
then he who marries the virgin does right but he who
does not marry her does even better (1 Cor 7:37-38).
There is a need to establish God’s will for your life
in marriage before going into it.
Adam knew God’s will or purpose for his life, he was
going about doing it.
So a man must have a clear vision or purpose for his
life or home before going into marriage.
Have a right motive for marriage. The question must be
settled in the right order. Why do I want to marry,
discover God’s purpose and allied your motive or
desire with God’s will.
Then how do I get the right partner?
The bible commands you to trust in the lord with all
your heart, do not depend on your own understanding,
seek his will in all you do and he will direct your
path (Pro 3:5-6).
God is interested in you making or having the right
partner in marriage. It is the Lord that settles the
lonely in families (Ps 68:6a) God wants to settle you
in a home not in a house Pro 19:14 says “He who finds
a wife, finds what is good and receives favour from
the Lord”
The would be husband and wife should pray and fast,
seek the face of the Lord to discern and receive God’s
will in the choice of life partner. God’s will can be
made known to through some of the following ways:
Prayer, the scriptures, gifts of the Holy Spirit e.g.
prophecy, dreams, vision, inner voice of the Holy
Spirit, audible voice, Spiritual leader, counseling,
through circumstances etc.
Spiritual, moral, educational, economic, physical,
social, age could be some of the criteria to consider.
But above all seek God’s will in prayer and fasting
for the right choice.
Adequate preparation should be made for your marriage
rather than the wedding ceremony.
Be ready for a change after your marriage. Marriage
will change your priority, loyalty, taste etc.
Having a successful marriage is a hard task but it is
achievable
Passion and permanence should characterize your
marriage. The world system is against successful
marriage, the world is against stable home, therefore
to keep your marriage intact or together, there is a
need for battle to be fought and won in the realm of
the spirit.
2 Cor 10:3-6 “we walk in the flesh we do not war after
the flesh, so you need to pull down every stronghold
against your home. There is battle to fight
persistently to make your marriage achieve the purpose
for which God establish it for.
Eve was created fir Adam to fellowship with to be a
help mate (so do not marry a strange) for communion,
for sexual relationship to cheek the sinful life of
adultery and fornication and for multiplication.
If you don’t understand the purpose of marriage, you
will abuse it.
Make the best use of marriage, marriage is a plus, it
could be heaven on earth if you get it right from the
beginning and daily apply and follow the manual. If
you get it wrong marriage could equally be hall on
earth.
HOW DO YOU MAKE SUCCESS OF YOUR MARRIAGE
1. Have a vision and knowledge for the home (Hos 4:6).
Sit down and answer the question of why your home is
to glorify God, settle to have a good relationship
with your wife and children. Run your home with
biblical principles and with vision the type of home
you want to live in, school your children will attend,
type of family friend to maintain or keep.
Discover purpose or vision for your marriage and
harmonize your vision with that of your wife.
2. Communication - develop a viable communication
line, talk and expect a feed back. If you deny or
neglect your spouse with right communication some body
else will feed her with wrong information by the devil
at the garden of Eden. Communication is good, find
time to discuss with your household especially your
wife. Do not allow communication to breakdown, device
various avenue to pass on information. Communication
breakdown have adverse consequences - spiritually
socially and physically.
3. Develop intimacy and consociate relationship
including conjugal relationship. No friendship with
unbeliever and third party.
4. Take time to pray together , sturdy the word
together. The union should be consummated as Jesus
involvement with the church is all encompassing (Eph
5:28-32)
Remember you did not marry an angel. Marriage is to be
work-out, it involves a lot of give and take and
self-denial. It is a bundle of responsibility. In
marriage you are married together to your partner’s
liability and assets. Polish each other’s liability
and turn it to asset. There must be mutual respect and
value for each other, say good things about yourselves
commend and encourage each other in love.
5. Do not allow third party influence to ruin your
home. In-laws friends colleagues TV books your work
etc. should not stand between husband and wife .
6. Make God your senior partner ( Ps 127:1) your home,
your wife will only submit to you and to God .Allow
God to be uncharged, in control of the affairs of
your home. God is the best builder. Call him to the
foundation, when misunderstanding comes he can fix it
for you.
Read through Psalms 128, Ephesians’ 5:29 and 6:1-4.
It is our prayer that your home or marriage fulfill
it’s divine purpose here on earth. We wish you happy
married life again and again


ATTITUDE
********
« Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus who being in very nature God …………… made himself nothing ………………and humbled himself and became obedient unto death - even death on a cross” (Phil 2:5-8).

Our Lord Jesus Christ is a perfect example of a man who lived to fulfil God’s purpose here on earth. His life on earth, physically, spiritually and socially was a complete success story.

Paul by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit urges you and I as children of God to make impact in this generation. Jesus as a man did establish a long - stand success story that cannot be beaten. The Holy Scripture says, you should follow in his step that is emulating his attitude so that you can equally become an outstanding star in your family, nation or country and your generation.

What is attitude and what Christ attitudes are you to emulate to make your life story a success story that will influence your generation and even the one let to be born.
Attitude is a manner of acting that shows one’s inward thoughts and feeling to people what you think about life, what you think about God. Your attitude is your personal interpretation and value you please on others around you. Your attitude is directly proportional to your attitude, that is how high you will reach. There are good attitudes that bring you to the pinnacle of success. However, there are devastating attitude which can unravel every achievement you attempt. To make success of your life career, Ministry or Profession, you must learn to cultivate good attitude about yourself, God? Your career or ministry self discipline, money, weaknesses of others your own mistakes, work habits, giving, receiving adversity and successes. These invisible, secret, golden thread God will use to weave the garment of your success.

Some of the bad attitudes originate in our backgrounds. For example a strict and structured up bringing may make you critical, cynical and even hostile towards those that are raised in a liberal home.

Satan’s target is to sour your attitude towards yourself, towards others and towards God. He wants to make you fell inferior, insecure, insignificant, or even arrogant, pompous and give you know it all mentality.

Some of those destructive attitudes are listed in several pages of the scripture for example Gal 5:19-21. We shall take a look at a few of the destructive attitude.

A) Anger it is a fierce feeling of displeasure usually leading to a desire to fight against the person or thing causing the feeling. God is slow to anger and abounding in love. The Bible instruct you to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry and not to associate with one who is easily angered (James 1:19, Pro 22:24). One minute of uncontrolled anger can destroy a life time relationship.

B) Arrogance: To be arrogant is to be full of pride and self important; especially in a way that shows no respect for other people. You should be meek and considerate with the weaknesses of others knowing fully well that you have your own weakness. Learn to remind yourself that others are important, their opinions have vale, show others recognition and respect. Stop making others feel stupid, unwanted and insignificant.

C) Critical Spirit: Recognise the fact that every one has strengths and weaknesses. If you see the flaws of others, do not place magnifying glass over them. Do not be hasty in speaking your personal opinion of everything.

D) Jealousy is an other negative attitude that punctuates success story. To feel jealousy is to show resentment over someone else’s achievement belonging and showing unnecessary rival God detest jealousy and all sin. Jealousy is the child of inferiority when people feel inferior they become vulnerable to jealousy and envy enter into their gives. Resist it. Do not let it destroy you.

E) Boasting: The Bible warn believer not to talk about one’s own accomplishments or abilities with pride. It is the evildoers that are full of boasting (Psalm 94:4). As a believer we should make people to hear of the power of Jesus Christ, tall them what He can do, exalt his name.

The best way to impress other is not to try to boast but let the people around you discern your worth themselves.

F) Competitive attitudes: Competition can be good in our world, it makes each of us to strive for excellence but it can also be used but Satan in a destructive manner.

Do not do unnecessary comparison and do not judge your success in relationship to others successes, find out what God want you to accomplish and do it with all your heart.

There are however some winning attitudes that will multiply your success in life and will make you to build on influential, powerful, respected career and ministry.

First, Humility: This is the acts of recognising your own limitation and God ability to compensate for them. It is recognition of your deep need and dependence on God and recognising the worth of others.

Humility is evidenced by your willingness to respond to correction. Do not waste your energy justifying a wrong decision that you have made. Be humble enough to recognise your mistake and correct it immediately.

Secondly, Teachableness It is important to be teachable and to be willing to make change in your life. New information always creates a need to change something which you are doing.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hosea 4:6). Read Pro 1:5.

Life will be a constant series of promotion to who is flexible and teachable.

Third, compassion, it is carry what happens to people. It is the irresistible urge to rid someone of a problem, bring healing to others It is the gasoline that drives the vehicle of evangelism and make a believer for signs; wonders and miraculous.
Fourth, Patience is the ability to bear long waiting or anything unpleasant, calmly and without complaining. One of the powerful traits of influential successful children of God is the ability to cooperate with the timing of God.

“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength ……..”Isa 40:31

Impatience is an inside problem, it is an unsettled heart, a restless mind that seek change.

Fatigue, disgruntled people around you, reports of others’ success, your association with especially gifted can make you fell inferior and influence your impatience.

Fifth, to be a success you must be generous. Generosity is a wining attitude. Daily walk by the principle of seed faith. Sow whatever God has given to you, towards the harvest He has promised you “But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully” (2Cor 9:6)

Stinginess will destroy you. Greed is devastating and is contagious.

Generosity is giving, giving, giving -your love

Your loyalty, your finances, to others your employer and your church.

Sixth, Diligence, Diligence is simply making things happen. It is reaching for what you want. It is energetic pursuit of something you desire and respect.

“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before king; he shall not stand before mean men” Pro 22:29.

Abundant blessing and success come to those who will take the initiative to complete their gods you shall be promoted and have good success, you shall be noticed by other great achievers.

Seventh, be enthusiastic about your profession goals and pursuit in life. Pursue those dreams and goals which fruly excite you. Your ability to stay excited over your goals will become one of your master keys in achieving unusual success for God in your ministry and career. Always encourage yourself in the Lord.

Your attitudes will be greatly influenced by your background, parental upbringing, nature of your job career or calling but in it all we must bring this attitude into conformity to that of Christ as you are the vehicle by which the world could pass onto him.

You must have the right attitude towards God, your career or ministry, your weaknesses, adversity criticism, personal gifts and talents, the word of God in order to have good success like our Master and Lord Jesus Christ. Aim for the highest quality in everything you do, Pursue excellence in everything you attempted, strive for the highest quality you can produce.

“Your attitude is where this mentality can begin to work for you and produce the results you want for your life, ministry, career, and marriage.

May the almighty God bless U abundantly.

Ref: The young Ministers’
Hand book “Mike Murdock
Evangelistic Association.


OPEN DOORS
**********

“These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David, what he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds, see I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut, I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.”
When a man surrender his or her life to Jesus, the almighty God closed the door against the devil in that person’s life that is the enemy is no longer to be trafficking evil, sin, sickness, affliction, sorrow, pain, failure and other evil vices into the life of this new bride of Christ. There is a closing of an old chapter (door) and a new door that leads to life, prosperity, health, abundance, fruitfulness, victory, joy, success and every other good thing of life is opened.

Despite, all the doors of opportunities that God has given to believers through Christ Jesus most of us live far below God’s expectation through Christ Jesus. God through Christ has given you authority and power (key of David and of the kingdom) to control which door to close and open, these are doors of death and life, failure and success, breakdown and breakthrough, stagnation and progress, poverty and prosperity, defeat and victory ete.

Jesus Christ told Peter in Mat 16:19 that “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; what ever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and what ever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven”

Over the church age, this authority and power has been handed over to every believer in every generation in all nation to be in charge of the affairs in his or her life, family, business or career, city and nations.

Jesus Christ has handed over the authority to you to close the doors against evil and open the door of good and success. Infact what He has done is that He has open doors before you that is why He has made available the right key to open the right door (word in season) and equally make available the Master key to open any kind of door at any point in time.

By eye of faith you must be able to see the door and that with the right key or master key in your hand those doors are already opened.

In Acts 12: 5-11 we read about Apostle Peter that has been given the keys of the kingdom locked in prison. His destiny, dreams, progress vision, glory, ministry or career etc was constricted behind the prison bars doors and gates, yet the master “his maker did open doors before that are now short by satin and his human agents to bring an abrupt end to his vision and dreams.

In 1Cor 16/9 Paul said “a great door for effective work has opened unto me, and there are many who oppose me”

Any of a truth, your Maker has open great door of abundance and success in life before you which he desire you walk through to possess your possession and receive your inheritance like great doors of opportunity has been opened to you but you cannot afford to fold your arms to allow opportunities slip you by. You need to rise up and walk through your open doors. What are the things we need to do to walk through our open doors and possesses the treasure of darkness and riches in secret places that has been prepared for you.

1. Persistent and earnest prayer coupled with fasting. This prayer could be either corporate or individual prayers. This number of people may not necessarily be the cruse of the matter but the fervency of the prayer, for the fervent prayer of the righteous avails much.

“So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him” (Acts 12:5).

Fervent prayers coupled with fasting bring about divine intervention of angelic being and the spirit and fire of the living God, which set loose chains and fetters of the captives, paralysing, satanic and demonic gatemen and guards, bring about opening of doors and gates of freedom, city and nations etc.

2. Invoking the anointing and the power of the Holy Spirit with fire. In Judges 15:13-14 Samson was bound, hands and legs with rope and handed over to his enemies by his relatives but the spirit of God came upon him with fire, the bands on his hands was consumed, even then the enemy again locked the city gates and doors against him to be killed the following morning. The anointing of God comes upon him with so much power and strength that he uprooted the city gates and doors. I pray right now that every gate and doors of evil used to have you in for destruction be uprooted in Jesus name.

3. Giving high praise unto God. Paul and Silas were put behind bars but they praised their way to victory. Oh that man would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of man. For He has broken the gate of brass and cut the bar of iron asunder (Psalm 107:15-16).

4. Learn to issue decree in the name of the Lord of host against all demonic gateman and guards who want to deter or hinder you from entering your open door. Command all the everlasting gates and the ancient doors to life up their heads for you that the Lord might take you on a walk through your open door.

5. When you carry God’s divine presence, doors will be opened unto you on their own accord, because nothing on earth or in heaven can hinder or limit the king of Glory, every authority and situation bow before him (Psalm 114:1-7).

6. Your submission to God brings you in connection with the authority and power of God to exercise against all demonic rules and kings. The Bible commands you to loose of the lions of kings and subdue them and to open before you the two leaved gates that cannot be shut (Isa 45: 1).

When your doors are opened you need to walk through them into greater height. Open doors speaks of favour, mercy, God blessings uniqueness as to God’s plan and purpose for your life which no man can alter or thwart by Satan and it’s demon.

Open doors speak of God making you a standard or reference point for all good things which God has prepared for you.

You must move forward and received that which God has prepared for you. This is your season of open doors and breakthrough. Enter with the supernatural strength and power of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus said I am the door of the sheep, I am the door; by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture (John 10:7b,:9).

It is in Christ Jesus “The Door” that you can find full salvation, satisfaction, fulfilment and life in abundance. So enter into him and equally open the door of your heart to him to rule and reign supreme.


OPEN DOOR TO EXCELLENCE
**************************
Excellence means unusually good, to be outstanding, to be better than. It also means of very high quality.
In this later part of the year the door have been open for you to all round excellence. You need to excel in every aspect of your life - Spiritual, Physical, Marital, Health, Faith and so on.

For you to experience all round excellence you need to fulfil some conditions which are as follows:

- You need the excellent spirit of God. That is the spirit of wisdom, understanding, counsel, power, knowledge and fear of the Lord (Isaiah 11verse 2, Proverbs 4 verse 7). You nezed to ask for this Excellent spirit than God will give you.

- You need to understand the time just like the sons of Issachar (1Chronicles 12:32). The Bible says they knew what to do and the appropriate time, the best time to do it. And you will become best among your equals.

- To excel you need to be hungry and thirsty for excellence and cry unto the Lord just like Jabez did in 1Chronicle 4:9-10. Can you just pause for a moment and pray the prayer of Jabez: "Oh, that you would bless me indeed and extend my lands, please Lord be with me in all that i do, and keep me from all trouble and pain". As the Lord granted him his request, you request too shall be granted in Jesus name.

- To be outstanding avoid moving closing with some category of people for they will hinder you from excelling (Psalm 1verse 1). Peter move with the following: those who will motivate you to obey God's instruction, those who will correct you when you are going astray for they are self correctors (Genesis 39verse 9, 2Samuel 24 verse 4-7).Those who will defend you when you are not there, those that walk in love.

- To be unusually good you should not compromise. Daniel and the other 3 Hebrew men in Babylon excelled in health (Daniel 1:15), in the lion's den and in the fiery furnace because they did not defile themselves.
- To excel think Big, let your mind be transformed that you will not remain small.
- To excel you must promote others, be interested in other people's success.
- To be outstanding you need to study the word of God and put it into practice (Joshua 1: 8)
- To excel finally you need to be hard working (Proverbs 22:29)

It is my prayer that for every shame you suffered in the first half of this year you will receive double portion of honour in every aspect of your life (Isaiah 61verse 7)

Confession brings possession, can you please confess Deuteronomy 28verse 13 with me: “In this second half of the year 2005 I will be the head only and not the tail, be above only and not beneath, I will always have the upper hand in every aspect of my Life .

BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS
The race of life is full of challenges which are to be overcome, opportunities which are to be utilized in order to fulfill destiny or God’s intended or original purpose for you. God destined every child of His for prosperity and good success in life, but for prosperity and success to be achieved you have to play your part knowing fully well that God is always faithful to fulfill His own part of every deal He has for His children. Two of the major things you need to muster in order to succeed in life are strength and courage.
In the book of Joshua 1:6-9 God told Joshua, “be strong and courageous, because you will lead this people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you, do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let the book of the law “Bible” depart from your mouth. Meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
In the short scriptural passage, we saw God telling Joshua four(4) times repeatedly of the need for Him to be strong and courageous so as to be able to receive and inherit what God has ordained and promised for Him and His brethren. One begins to wonder why this emphasis. Does it mean God has nothing else to tell Joshua? Or is that God has become a talkative. The issue is that God knows the challenges, life hurdles, obstacles, barriers that Joshua has to face before he could obtain God’s blessings and promises. God knows that Joshua will later face situations or challenges that will make him fear and feel that God is no longer with him or near help. So God has to prepare Joshua’s mind for action ahead of challenges.
Today, God is also telling you that good success and prosperity is what He planned for you as His child. In Jeremiah 29vs11: For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” God has a glorious future for you. You can not be disappointed by God in the face of difficulties and hard situations if you put your trust in Him because before any trial or temptation will arise, He would have made a way of escape for you.
God told Joshua as He is telling you today, “I will prosper you and give you success and be with you, but you need to be strong, firm in the faith (faith in God, not in yourself) so as to be able to withstand all the crafty schemes of Satan and all spiritual forces of evil; be courageous- be brave, carry the ability to control fear in the face of danger or challenges, be fearless, be bold.
The Bible tells us God has not given you the spirit of fear or timidity but of sound mind, boldness, power and love. Taking hold of your present inheritance (spiritual and physical) and the salvation in Christ demands that you be strong and courageous because there are forces of darkness, principalities, powers and spiritual wickedness and human satanic agents that are bent to keep you out of your inheritance. God expects you to daily fight the fight of faith to ensure possession of final salvation and eternal rest (1 Tim 1:18-20) . Possession of salvation, abundant life, which includes physical, spiritual and eternal life involves spiritual warfare and conquest (Eph.6:10-20). Possession of salvation and God’s blessings are likewise maintained by a present living faith in Christ expressed in obedience to His Word, spiritual warfare against sin, the sinful nature and Satan. Faith in God’s promises, in His power and in His personal presence is very crucial for possessing your inheritance and final rest. Your taking hold of your possession and making impact in life has much to do with what you are. God wants you to be strong and very courageous so that you can become what He has created you to be. God told Joshua three consecutive times to be strong and courageous. God in other words was telling Joshua be wise. A wise man is a very strong man according to Prov.24:5. You need wisdom to win the battles of life because by physical strength shall no man prevail. Wisdom is profitable to direct. To be wise and divinely directed give sense of purpose induces strength and make you unstoppable in your journey to the top.
Proverbs 24:5 tells us that a man of knowledge increases strength. Knowledge informs you adequately about your mission and if you are well enlightened about your mission, you are on the pathway of success and prosperity. Courage is very crucial for a life of success and prosperity. Courage gives you divine ability to subdue opposition, no matter how tough. It takes courage to command progress in every area of life. Courage will move you from phase to phase, glory to glory, defeat to victory.
David was a man who constantly encouraged Himself in the Lord (1Sam 30:6). There are times challenges will come and nobody will encourage you but learn to encourage yourself in the Lord. If you are not self encouraged, you will die in discouragement.
Jesus Christ our perfect example was self motivated. He set His eyes on the joy that was set before Him rather than focus on the present challenges.
Do not cast your confidence or courage. Your reward is coming soon. When you operate in confidence, you will soon become commander of rewards, good success and prosperity.